Where We Get Our Wood
If a tree falls on a Kobald...
A philosophical missive from Norm the Gnome.
Well, hey there readers. It’s your favorite sadist, Norm the Gnome! Since we are working on dice dungeons, I thought, by golly, I better write you wonderful folks about how we work here in the shop!
Now, each of us fine artisans here at Item is a little bit different, but we do have one consistent thread that binds us all: the apprentice does all of the hard work for us! Being experienced woodworkers, we have earned it, silly!
A big question we often get asked: Where do you get your wood?
Well, at Item Woodworks, we don’t believe in waste. Each piece of wood was once a living tree to be cherished. And while I love teaching treacherous, conniving Kobalds about the meaning of slow, continual pain, (what they deserve for making me their torture slave for fourteen years) I would never think of doing that to a tree. Besides, the wood we get has been heated in a kiln to 160 degrees or been air dried and has been dead for years. And as we all know, playing with already dead things is no fun.
So, where was I? Oh, yes: where we get our wood. All of the wood we use comes from four furniture shops and one sawmill in Portland. We have built relationships with these fellow artisans who also take pride in the conservation of materials. As a maker of smaller wooden objects, we are a part of that process. We take many of the off-cuts the shops can’t use and put them to use in our work.
For our wood, our shop has adopted a size chain sequence plan for continually using scrap for smaller parts until it is too small for use. That wood is placed in a bin bound for Portland’s compost program.
All plastic, glass, paper, and metal materials are recycled. We reuse shipping boxes and packing material when we can. I even re-use torture tools without cleaning them. Cross-contamination is a surprisingly fun and underappreciated art!
So if you feel a bit hacked on, ripped up, or shortened by the slings and arrows of life, know that just like the reclaimed wood that Item Woodworks uses on a daily basis, you are cherished by the artisans of the world and you are still destined for great beauty and function.
Unless you are a Kobald.